The Whispering Love

“The Whispering Love That Watches Over”

Or

“Your Weird Little Cat”

a

kind

of

poem

by

me.

*

There is a Love that loves all that you do

A Love that stands by you, Constant and True

All that you are, increases this Love

She sees you as pure as Heaven Above

 *

Your imperfect ways make this Love grow each day

Like you love your weird cat and her weird little ways

And when you feel off and slip into the dark

This Love that now watches increases in Heart

All that you choose only makes this Love more

You can’t mess it up, your breath makes Her soar

 *

This Love feels no anger or judgment or worse

There’s no disappointment, in Love you are first

and foremost in all that you are and you do

You can’t break this Love, for this Love has made you

And Love makes you still, and ever Love will

You are this Great Love, just surrender and feel

*

Love is Eternal and can’t cost a thing

Love is a Presence not that diamond ring

Love is who sits by you when you’re alone

Love knows your thoughts and Love blesses your home

Love is the Light that you sometimes might see

At the edge of your eye, when you Simply Be

 *

Yes, Love like the Love that you have for your cat

Yet to this Great Love you are much more than that

For even if you love your cat with whole heart

You and your cat sadly someday must part

This Love that is watching you reading this now

Is Love that can’t fade for Love doesn’t know how

 *

If your canvas fades will your painting still stay?

Will your little home stand if the Earth goes away?

Could Earth even be without space to exist?

Could flowers still grow, without angels’ soft kiss?

*

When you see how connected all things have to be

Love takes on Aliveness, to those who are free

of frail little walls in a scared thinking mind

which needs to feel safe more than needs to be kind

*

You see through those walls when you smile at a bird

in thanks for the song that your love-formed ears heard

You tear through the veil, when you witness and sigh

the golden orange sunsets, and sacred sunrise

When you play with a child, not for them, but for you

When you wish on a star, all you long to come true

*

Its a Love like that Love, that is watching you now

But She’s bigger than you, so She has more Love Power

Revealing to you who you are and are not.

Setting you free when you think are caught

Love never stops Loving or Guiding your life

She’s there in your peace, in your joy and your strife

 *

Love kisses your forehead as you fall asleep

Love kisses each tear of your heart when it weeps

Love gives you the dreams to set sweet soul above

a world that made rules which are not based in Love

 *

“I love you! I love you! I love you!” Love sighs,

“Through all of your lives and your lies and your cries,

I love you unto each and every new birth

I save you from bodies before grave or hearse

I Am the True Love which Gives flesh its Sweet Life

I Am Love Eternal, the Source of All Light

*

“So when you feel love for your weird little cat

Know that I’ve loved you for centuries like that.

And I love you now, and I’ll help you to heal

I’ll whisper your Truth when you’re quiet and still.”

*
*
*

The Hour Of The Changing Light

She teaches me

how fast it all goes,

how to savor This.

Were it not for Her

I may have spent life

not living,

only doing,

fretting and frittering

my fading hours away

in endless to-do’s

and

never

ever

ever

be.

 *

She makes me feel

a soft yet horribly deep sorrow

at the time I’ve lost

within the false state:

Alive, but not recognizing Life! 

The state of unreason

cultures are built upon.

*

She reminds me to honor

in Sacred Devotion and Gratitude

The setting Sun,

sacred in its own right,

and all it represents:

All that Enters and gives Life,

then leaves us alone in Night,

to softly find a way back in,

to lure us into Light again.

*

The cycles of Life,

of Light

of Love,

The cycles of All Creation.

*

All this She Teaches

in Her sensual adieu

To the God of The Golden Orange Light,

whose Emergence and Disappearance

Form the Magic Hour

Where yin and yang kiss,

And become one another,

And the veil between

fades to naught.

*

The realm of opposites join here:

Ra to Luna.

Birth to Death.

Light to Dark.

God to Man,

The hour in which we may

 whisper to Spirits,

And Spirits may whisper

Sacred Truths to us.

 *

She devotes Herself

to Ra’s egress

with all Her Western faces.

Her delicate, graceful fingers,

gently caressing even the last fleeting trace

of precious fading Light.

*

I feel Her yearning, reaching,

even unto the last dying sunbeam.

So glorious, to see a Tree in Prayer!

So glorious to be aware!

So glorious to have Eyes that See,

 if only in shared sunsets,

in which She helps me enter,

The Sacred Awareness.

*

She awakens me

through gentleness

through delicacy,

That I may see with Pure eyes.

*

She lures my Awareness

 into the most subtle aspects of Her Grace

That I may recognize within myself,

all I am drawn to in Her.

In the breath, in the poise, in the fingers,

in the step, in the balance, in the motion,

in the gentleness and the delicacy,

the busy noise of mind can fade

that I may discover

even the to-do’s

are better achieved

When lost in the gentleness and grace of the doing.

*

My Great Teacher,

What greater lesson could be taught,

than how to be Alive in Life?

*

Magic things happen

through the Sacred Awareness,

In the Hour of the Changing Light.

* Become *

Why?

Why am I in this body,

with

Impulses

Weaknesses

‘fraidy cat stuff

Head trips? 

Why is The Godself

in a body

with all these

imperfections,

with eyes and a mind

that recognize Perfection,

which makes me

know I am not

Perfection?

 *

What is the Purpose

of the

Journey

to

Perfect Ourselves

if the

Godself

within

is

already

Perfect?

 *

Why?

*

I am not

Resisting,

I am not

Refusing,

I am not

Challenging

My

Great Creatress 

I just want to know,

Why?

*

 *

*

Stillness 

in 

mind. 

I put my notebook 

of mad scribbles down 

and continue to sweat it out 

on the 

indoor bike 

Watching a rockstar 

in midnight hours

scream for me. 

*

A flash of light to my right, 

then,  

a thought 

* 

Stagnation is poison

Sliding back is suffering

Forward is the only Healthy Motion

*

School

We take a class

Learn, even Master

a Subject.

*

another flash of light 

on the left this time 

* 

Maybe when we have

Mastered something

we are to  move on

And learn anew.

Open a new Door

A new Subject

A new direction

A new reason

simply because

it is new

and

not-yet-learned.

*

We’re Here to Learn and Grow

We’re Here To Become

That’s why we’re Here

Wow.

gosh.

o.k.

*

An Afterthought,

Why would God even bother

learning, struggling, dealing

with

Imperfection

when She is Perfect Now?

She has it All.

She is All.

*

I was blessed to have it all, once.

Without a direction

I

almost died.

*

We Become

so we do not

UnBecome.

 We Become

Because

We Are.

Thoughts On a Dawn Not Wasted

I wish Mom was alive.

I wish Danny (my little brother) was alive.

I wish it was all sunny.

Things were darker than they needed to be.

I wish we were happier with each other, and with Life.

There is an inner Darkness

I feel I may never escape.

Yet I have escaped

In fiery passions, missions, quests,

The Burning Thing Inside.

And when these quests did not turn out as planned

The Darkness returned

And when Darkness returned,

I could not see, how very, very, very much

each one of those consuming quests had given me.

Each was transformative, and changed my life for the better.

I call upon the permanent gifts of each quest every day.

Lasting Treasures were always found, but not the ones I quested for.

Acceptance, Fame and Fortune in the way I wanted eluded capture

Instead I found only what I most needed, and will always draw from.

Only now, in my morning and my mourning, do I understand, even as I write.

My three many-yeared quests are what delivered me from the Darkness.

I have not wholly acknowledged the arrival of the Fourth, which is:

My Quest For a Mind, in Tune continuously

With the Infinite, Truth, Universe, Spirit, God, YourWordHere.

And this Quest too has delivered me from Darkness,

The Darkness that dwells in my bloodline,

That Darkness that has already taken lives too soon.

And in not wholly acknowledging this Fourth Mission,

I have not allowed its gifts to wholly (holy?) Adrenalize me, Empower me, Illumine me,

And Liberate me From the Darkness Within, as did The Previous Three,

When they had Life.

I see Lifelong that there has ever only, and shall ever only be, Two Directions:

I may run from The Darkness

Or I may run Toward The Light,

And these are very, Very, VERY Different Things,

Only one has worked.

Neither therapist, nor Sage could save my Two Lost.

To stagnate, is to allow the Dark Bloodline to overtake and kill.

What helps me run to the Light, is to See The Light

In my Obsessive Whole-Bodied Imagining of its Realization.

May My Fourth Call, enable the Previous Three

May It Not Be Too Late

May It Be my Raison Detre

May it Be an Endless Effortless Constant Wellspring of Life Motivation.

Ink and Tears on Notebook Lines

May My Ride Be Filled With Signs

May These Be The Words Of Change

May My Target Be In Range

Bless My Quest and Bless This Rider

Bless The Songstress, Bless the Writer,

Bless The Seeker, and the Striver,

May This Mission Be My Driver.

Lord help me be Free At Last 

Break My Chains To Poisoned Past!   

And in the Fourth Quest,

The Horse I get back upon is called

Sadhana.

Freudian slip

As I read aloud

I said

Asana, 

(twice.)

The Yoga mat beckons. 

Sunlight Breathing Meditation

Sunlight Breathing Meditation

Breathing in

S P A C E

S O F T N E S S

S T I L L N E S S

Breathing Out

S H A N T I

S H A N T I

S H A N T I

California Summer Afternoon

Warm Wind

Birds Sing

Leaves Breathe

Sun Shines

Warms

Caresses

Comforts

Heals

Mind Stilled

Such

Solace

Peace

A Smile That Won’t Quit

Happiness Born Of

SUNSHINE!

Heaven Sings Through Birds

With a Gentle Breeze

And all the leaves Breathe!

As I Breathe!

Oh! So Happy!

I Am ALIVE.

My Self Is Nowhere In Sight.

 कृतज्ञा

A Moment On Gratitude

Be Grateful for Life’s Pain

It Purifies

Be Grateful for Life’s Pleasure

It Elevates

Be Grateful for Life’s Promise

It Beckons

 

Samuel

I met this man on the street, and he lives on the street, and there was something about him. He looked a bit like Hendrix, if Hendrix had lived and aged. He had soulful eyes, and he was holding a cup. I walked up and explained I didn’t have any bills, but I have change. He looked at me, and said, “You don’t need to give me a thing. You’re the first kind soul I’ve seen today. You’re open! And everyone else on this boulevard is closed. Look around.” And I did. And it was mostly true.

And we started talking, and this man is wise, and he’s spiritual, and he uses that term.

He said, “Go on, ask me anything you want. I can answer it.”

And I said, “What do you do when you feel scared?”

And he said, “What kind of scared are you feeling?”

And I said, “The world just seems so complicated and technology driven and impersonal and out of control, and I’m trying to adapt and survive, but I feel overwhelmed by it.” (My first days in the city after six years in a forest very little humanity.)

And he said, “Its not the world, its not the technology, its not any of that. Its your family.”

And I said, “What?”

And he said, “Your family makes you think you can’t do it, you can’t handle whatever’s in front of you, you can’t change it. Whatever you grew up with, made you feel you’re not enough for the thing in front of you. I don’t know what they did to you, but whatever it was, it isn’t true.

You don’t even see the technology, you don’t even see the situation. You see your judgement of the situation. You decided its bigger than you, and more than you can handle, because that’s how they made you feel when you were young. So that’s what you see. LIttle kids are doing things on computers. You know you can do it. But you’ve decided technology is bigger than you are, and that’s why you feel overwhelmed.”

I stood there, reeling. He went on to say people give him mean looks sometimes, which was happening as we spoke. I saw someone looking judgmentally at him, and at me for talking to him. He said some people call him ni**er. Then he stared at me and said, “You afraid of black people?” I laughed, and so did he. And he said, “See there? Some people are afraid of me, because that’s a fear their family put into them. What you’ve got is the same thing. Its a judgment, but instead of it being about black people, its about technology, and when you’ve got a judgment of technology, you don’t see the technology, anymore than they see me when they call me a name like that. Do you understand me?”

And I said, “Yeah, I do. I’m Jessi,”

And he said, “I’m Samuel.”

And I said, “I’ve got to go into the drugstore. But if they’ll let me take cash back, I’d like to repay you.”

I was in the drugstore for a very long while. The store was just not organized. When I came out, Samuel lit up. He said, “Oh! I thought you were putting me on.” And I said, “No, its hard to find anything in there.”

He said, “I thought you were the real thing, then I didn’t, and now I’m glad you are.”

So we talked some more, and the more he talked, the better I felt, and the less scared I was about my new life. He had such a calm about him. At a point I just wanted to hug him, but I didn’t want to be weird.

And then a bit later he said, I want to ask something of you, but I don’t know if I should. And I got a little creeped out, although in over an hour of conversation with Samuel, he did not appear anything less than sane and wise, but I suddenly felt apprehensive. And he said, “Can I get a —-?” And I said, “A what?”

And he got shy, and he said, “A —-?”

And I said, “A WHAT?”

And he said, “Oh, never mind!”

And I said, “No, I want to know. Can you get a WHAT?”

And he looked at his feet, and he said, “Can I get a . . . (very long pause) . . .can I get a hug?”

And I said, “I’ve been wanting to hug you since you took my fear away.” And we hugged, and it was nice, and laughed at the looks that seemed to get.

He told me that we’ve lost touch with our instincts because of our thinking. He said he doesn’t read books, and doesn’t listen to words so much. He said, “I pay attention to life. Not what the humans are calling life, but LIFE. And Life is Spiritual. Not the cars, not the busy people, but LIFE. And he said when he pays attention to it, he sees things. He said he saw openness in me.

The truth was, I I was feeling overwhelmed. But when I saw him, I did open up, and I don’t know why.

He’s a talker. I had to be strong with him and pull myself away both times I left him, but I felt he needed someone to listen to him, and I felt I needed his words, and I felt better after time with him.

The most amazing part of it was, he looked at me towards the end of our talk, and knowing nothing but what I’d told him, he asked, “Do you play guitar?” And I said yes, and he looked up at the sky and back at me, and said with a twinkle in his eye, he said, “Somebody’s telling me things about you.” Then he said, “Do you think you could put music to my words?”

And I said, “Probably.”

And he got shy again, but  he pulled it together and said, I want to give you something.

He started reciting poetry, one poem, several minutes long.

It was very moving. I broke out in chills from tip to toe which typically tells me something important is happening, and had a few tears. It was about his life, and all he’d faced, and it was all rhymes, and it was like hip hop, but this man was at least in his 60′s and his style had so much more maturity and wisdom than I equate with the predominant genre; and the poetry went through the dark times, and the dark deeds, and then how he began to find Truth and turned his life around, and began to see things as they are, observing Life and humanity’s way in it, and at a point in this, he pulled up his shirt, and revealed a thick knife scar that had cut most of his stomach open, as he spoke of having seen the darkness before the light. Then he put his shirt down and kept going with this rhyme and his message.

When he was done he looked in my eyes and said, “That reached you.” And I said, “Yeah,” and he said, “You’re open. Stay open.”

I felt great the whole day after that.