The Courage To Dream Again

(adapted from a letter to a friend)

Return, Fear, and The Nature of True Dreams.

* * * * *

1. RETURN: Return to whatever dream, if it happened, would fill you up, and make you happy. But really imagine it happening. Is it the work that makes you happy in and of itself, or is it the recognition, the pay-off? What work makes you happy, all by itself? What feels good? If we don’t know what that is, that’s ok. At least we’re opening the door of wonder, to find out.

2. FEAR: We’re afraid to try again because we’re looking at it wrong. Let’s say you starred in your own film, won an Oscar, and I won a Pulitzer for my stuff. Now what? Pressure’s on. Are you a one hit wonder? Am I? There are expectations now. Let’s say we get a few successes, get used to that, but what then? Will it be a lifelong success, or will we fall out of fashion? Become has-beens? Is that less terrifying than being a never-was?

You and I are wrong to think our dreams are broken because our last efforts didn’t turn out the way we’d hoped. There is no finish line, no Destination except this moment; no ending point, except our last breath. Every time we try and hope for something, its always going to be the same risk. Doesn’t matter if the last thing failed or succeeded. The next thing will be just as risky. The same is true for everyone who tries for a dream, at any time at any age.

3. THE NATURE OF TRUE DREAMS: If our dreams are age restrictive, they’re not true dreams. You wanted to be an A-list actor before you were 30, and I wanted my novel to be a best-seller by that time. The reason these dreams weren’t real, is they had a finishline, a delusion disguised as hope that said, “When I hit THIS I’ve made it!

But like the #2 Fear paragraph says, there is no “made it!” No finishline that makes everything great, forever. Success can even increase pressure and fear. So if we still want those same things, if those really are our dreams, we need to change them up in our minds to be True Dreams. A true actor’s dream might be: I’m going to give my all to be the best actor I can be; I will devote the rest of my life to improving my craft to give all that I can.

Who can take that dream away? Who can stop us from doing that at any age? That is a dream independent of circumstance and industry, reliant only upon our Devotion. That is a lifelong mission statement. With that lifelong mission statement, whether failure or success comes, it won’t derail us.

Both success and failure are great at derailing dreamers. Look how many die at the top. Even if success lasted the rest of your life or mine, the fulfillment it brought would leave, unless the work is fulfilling, in and of itself, which takes us back to paragraph #1 RETURN.

That’s why we need to define that True dream, the work that is fulfilling all by itself, and that lifelong mission statement, that is independent of success and failure.

Success and Failure are ripples on a pond. But the True Dream, the Lifelong Mission Statement, is the Pond. We need the pond, not the ripples that come and go.

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The Whispering Love

“The Whispering Love That Watches Over”

Or

“Your Weird Little Cat”

a

kind

of

poem

by

me.

*

There is a Love that loves all that you do

A Love that stands by you, Constant and True

All that you are, increases this Love

She sees you as pure as Heaven Above

 *

Your imperfect ways make this Love grow each day

Like you love your weird cat and her weird little ways

And when you feel off and slip into the dark

This Love that now watches increases in Heart

All that you choose only makes this Love more

You can’t mess it up, your breath makes Her soar

 *

This Love feels no anger or judgment or worse

There’s no disappointment, in Love you are first

and foremost in all that you are and you do

You can’t break this Love, for this Love has made you

And Love makes you still, and ever Love will

You are this Great Love, just surrender and feel

*

Love is Eternal and can’t cost a thing

Love is a Presence not that diamond ring

Love is who sits by you when you’re alone

Love knows your thoughts and Love blesses your home

Love is the Light that you sometimes might see

At the edge of your eye, when you Simply Be

 *

Yes, Love like the Love that you have for your cat

Yet to this Great Love you are much more than that

For even if you love your cat with whole heart

You and your cat sadly someday must part

This Love that is watching you reading this now

Is Love that can’t fade for Love doesn’t know how

 *

If your canvas fades will your painting still stay?

Will your little home stand if the Earth goes away?

Could Earth even be without space to exist?

Could flowers still grow, without angels’ soft kiss?

*

When you see how connected all things have to be

Love takes on Aliveness, to those who are free

of frail little walls in a scared thinking mind

which needs to feel safe more than needs to be kind

*

You see through those walls when you smile at a bird

in thanks for the song that your love-formed ears heard

You tear through the veil, when you witness and sigh

the golden orange sunsets, and sacred sunrise

When you play with a child, not for them, but for you

When you wish on a star, all you long to come true

*

Its a Love like that Love, that is watching you now

But She’s bigger than you, so She has more Love Power

Revealing to you who you are and are not.

Setting you free when you think are caught

Love never stops Loving or Guiding your life

She’s there in your peace, in your joy and your strife

 *

Love kisses your forehead as you fall asleep

Love kisses each tear of your heart when it weeps

Love gives you the dreams to set sweet soul above

a world that made rules which are not based in Love

 *

“I love you! I love you! I love you!” Love sighs,

“Through all of your lives and your lies and your cries,

I love you unto each and every new birth

I save you from bodies before grave or hearse

I Am the True Love which Gives flesh its Sweet Life

I Am Love Eternal, the Source of All Light

*

“So when you feel love for your weird little cat

Know that I’ve loved you for centuries like that.

And I love you now, and I’ll help you to heal

I’ll whisper your Truth when you’re quiet and still.”

*
*
*

Image

Your Glorious Mind

Los Angeles

Runyon Canyon

Gorgeous Hike

Breathtaking Sunset

Awing distant city lights

Far beneath the mountain

*

Yet on that hike

Walking past

Moviestar Beauty,

Shockingly Intense,

So much so,

that these co-hiking humans

appeared to be

 another species entirely,

I found myself slipping into comparison,

and self annihilation arrived.

*

I told my hiking friend,

“I see people so gorgeous

I want to leap off the mountain!”

He laughed and said he felt the same way.

(Did that mean he wanted me to leap off the mountain?)

*

Yet moments later, my outlook changed

when  I happened upon

the most beautiful person on the mountain,

Quite possibly the most beautiful person ever.

His legs were bent in an unusual way,

he walked with two canes,

swaying from side to side,

and he was different from everyone,

because he had the Biggest Truest Smile of All.

*

He was looking around,

at all the people,

at the breath taking views,

and his lit up eyes and awesome smile irradiated,

“Isn’t this GREAT?! 

Isn’t it AMAZING we all 

get to do this?!

LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING IS!”

*

He was bursting with

Joy, Wonder, Awe & Gratitude!

And as we walked past one another

His Burst of Light

leapt into my Spirit

and I felt as he felt,

whilst in his presence:

ALIVE! 

 *

Einstein once said,

“There are only two ways to live your life,

One is as though nothing is a miracle,

The other as though everything is a miracle.”

*

The most beautiful person on the mountain

saw Miracles

and he taught me to see them as well,

with only his Spirit and his Smile.

I learned from him this day, that:

True Beauty never makes you feel less than.

True Beauty makes you feel

Alive With Gratitude!

And Consumed with Aliveness

the false and fretful fear-driven

comparative little egoic mind,

has not the slightest hope of

of dashing a delightfully lovely day.

*

It  truly takes a Glorious Mind

to appreciate a Glorious Day.

And I thank you truly,

Most Beautiful Person Ever,

 for sharing with me

 Your Glorious Mind,

that birthed the smile

that gave

Such Light!

Black_Mountain_Sunset-27527

The Dispassionate Observer

(I had written this before the “Somewhere To Go” entry below. 

I decided not to post it when I found my my motivation. 

But I think I found my reason because I had given up searching for it. 

I accepted the place between places, and observed myself within it. 

So I decided to post this in case someone else is in the place 

between places and happens to stumble upon this remote locale

on the edge of Being, where precious few actual readers exist, 

and lone Zengirl tends bar, awaiting the entrance of a stranger 

who either needs a healing word, or who can give one.) 

* * * * * * * * * * *

AWARENESS. 

The Darkness Within

Subtle, Pervasive

The Elusive Obvious

Watch It!

Awareness with no Judgment

No Attachment

No Good

No Bad

I made a little sign

I see often in my day

“How Am I?”

When I see myself

With Unclouded Eyes,

I ask,

Am I serving my intention

Of who I want to Be,

And what I want to Give?

And when I don’t know who I want to be,

or what I want to give,

In moments I feel I’ve outlived

My Reason, My Story,

And Find I’m Still here,

I Just Observe the Being I am

As I am.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Emptiness is more peaceful than The Storm

I feel Grateful for The Nothingness

* * * * * * * * * * *

I observe remnants of a past me

Running on a Familiar

Which no longer has context

The movie feels over

But the camera’s still rolling, expectantly,

And I don’t know what to gun for anymore.

Aware of me Now

With no Judgment

No Attachment

No Good

No Bad

I see me Doing, Being

And through this Dispassionate Observer Within,

I begin to Know, what Mind can only think.

The Answer that comes by Awareness,

Is the Answer.

The answer that comes by thinking

is another false and fleeting lead

that cannot satisfy,

just Mind’s False Promise of a better way,

In a fictional place called Future.

No mission, No horse, No Destination

Yet I still Observe me Doing and Being.

What is your reason? I ask of She,

Who locks Life outside her door,

Only to examine it within her mind.

I ask the One, the Doer, The Be-Her,

Who Does, and Is, Without Motivation

And She says:

I Do for the sake of Doing. 

I Am for the sake of Being. 

And I ask:

What is your pay off?

What motivates?

And She says:

Doing for Doing. 

Being for Being. 

The Truth of pay-off in Future

Is Wilde’s Two Tragedies:

One is not getting what one wants

The other is getting it.

Either Way You Are Not Fed.

So be fed with what is here.

Do what is to be done.

Be as you are.

Stop pondering life,

or you will never live it.

I see the irony of self

In telling myself to stop pondering,

a helpful conclusion,

unearthed,

only after much pondering.

Were I not acquainted with Non-Dualism,

I’d feel all wisdom is insane or one sided.

Thank you Suzuki.

Thank you All Great Teachers

Who make the road possible.

3533_Lone-Joshua-tree-in-the-desert