The Possible Goals

I am sharing words that are not my own.

These words helped me

get back on the horse 

in this Year Of The Horse

May they help you 

if you need help.

“Usually we all set impossible goals and try to achieve them. 

Then when we fail we decide it really is impossible.

And once we confirm it is impossible,

we stop putting forth even the little effort

that we were putting into it.

After that all we do is blame the world,

blame God and everyone.

Our whole life ends in blaming others. 

So first fix a practical goal.

Realize what is possible

When you know something is possible, start 

working toward it.

Even small victories that you achieve can bring great encouragement.

This will give you tremendous courage and confidence.

You will then start moving steadily toward deeper Truths.

You will start to achieve and live what I call, “Living Enlightenment.”

—Swami Nithyananda 

(Living Enlightenment) 

Nithyananda

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The Courage To Dream Again

(adapted from a letter to a friend)

Return, Fear, and The Nature of True Dreams.

* * * * *

1. RETURN: Return to whatever dream, if it happened, would fill you up, and make you happy. But really imagine it happening. Is it the work that makes you happy in and of itself, or is it the recognition, the pay-off? What work makes you happy, all by itself? What feels good? If we don’t know what that is, that’s ok. At least we’re opening the door of wonder, to find out.

2. FEAR: We’re afraid to try again because we’re looking at it wrong. Let’s say you starred in your own film, won an Oscar, and I won a Pulitzer for my stuff. Now what? Pressure’s on. Are you a one hit wonder? Am I? There are expectations now. Let’s say we get a few successes, get used to that, but what then? Will it be a lifelong success, or will we fall out of fashion? Become has-beens? Is that less terrifying than being a never-was?

You and I are wrong to think our dreams are broken because our last efforts didn’t turn out the way we’d hoped. There is no finish line, no Destination except this moment; no ending point, except our last breath. Every time we try and hope for something, its always going to be the same risk. Doesn’t matter if the last thing failed or succeeded. The next thing will be just as risky. The same is true for everyone who tries for a dream, at any time at any age.

3. THE NATURE OF TRUE DREAMS: If our dreams are age restrictive, they’re not true dreams. You wanted to be an A-list actor before you were 30, and I wanted my novel to be a best-seller by that time. The reason these dreams weren’t real, is they had a finishline, a delusion disguised as hope that said, “When I hit THIS I’ve made it!

But like the #2 Fear paragraph says, there is no “made it!” No finishline that makes everything great, forever. Success can even increase pressure and fear. So if we still want those same things, if those really are our dreams, we need to change them up in our minds to be True Dreams. A true actor’s dream might be: I’m going to give my all to be the best actor I can be; I will devote the rest of my life to improving my craft to give all that I can.

Who can take that dream away? Who can stop us from doing that at any age? That is a dream independent of circumstance and industry, reliant only upon our Devotion. That is a lifelong mission statement. With that lifelong mission statement, whether failure or success comes, it won’t derail us.

Both success and failure are great at derailing dreamers. Look how many die at the top. Even if success lasted the rest of your life or mine, the fulfillment it brought would leave, unless the work is fulfilling, in and of itself, which takes us back to paragraph #1 RETURN.

That’s why we need to define that True dream, the work that is fulfilling all by itself, and that lifelong mission statement, that is independent of success and failure.

Success and Failure are ripples on a pond. But the True Dream, the Lifelong Mission Statement, is the Pond. We need the pond, not the ripples that come and go.

dream-quotes1

Somewhere To Go

If I had succeeded

In the Creative Passions & Pursuits

I’ve poured my heart into

and years into,

I would have continued

Striving, trying

to give something else

Good, Useful, Edifying,

Something worth another’s Time.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The success I sought,

if Attained,

would not have been a finish line.

Why on Earth did I let Failure become one?

* * * * * * * * * * *

Some time ago, I opened a door to I-Ching,

and it opened a door in me.

I was guided to words that became a part of me:

“It furthers one to have somewhere to go.”

The Power and Aliveness of this 5000 year old Truth

revealed a bit more of itself during:

I’m-just-going-to-watch-this-beautiful-summer-sky-and-breathe meditation.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I love looking UP on days like today.

I never get bored.

Sky meditation is a Somewhere-To-Go that Furthers

It awakens The Authentic Happiness,

that isn’t based on something ‘happening.’

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I first read the I Ching wisdom,

I thought the Somewhere To Go

Must be an Impassioned Life-Mission

A Protracted investment of Time and Attention

Today the Sky helped me see a broader interpretation:

* * * * * * * * * * *

Every moment, every action,

Even contemplating a cloud,

Can be a Somewhere To Go that Furthers.

When I am fully invested in the Present

be it a Task, a time of Relaxation, Play, or Creation,

I am in my Sacred Somewhere To Go.

When I’m all in, there is no self

and that is Liberation.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Buddha’s wisdom teaches, “No self, no problem.”

The Somewhere To Go is The Way

To No Self

No Problem.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Even if my Somewhere To Go is Nothingness,

In my Nothingness,

I am in my Somewhere To Go

Out of Self,

Out of Self’s Growing Story,

Out of Self’s need to drag its heavy past

Into every New Fresh experience

*********

So Somewhere To Go offers Liberation from Self.

Liberation from Self offers Liberation

from Attachment to Success or Failure.

Liberation from Attachment to Success or Failure

Liberates the Artist from the Influence,

Of These Two Non-Finish lines

Which consciously or unconsciously affect

The Creativity of all Artists

Not-Free of Attachment.

* * * * * * * * * * *

NOW,

Work may be pursued in the purity

of non-attachment,

In the Earnestness and Openness

Of the Beginner’s Mind.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Creativity may still Stir Us Up,

Drive us Mad,

Thrill us to Unreason!

Clear calm water

May suddenly Storm!

* * * * * * * * * * *

All the more reason to be free

of the unnecessary, non-contributory,

hindering turmoil, in

Egoic Attachment to Success or Failure.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Neither is a destination

Each is only a Step

On an Artist’s Journey.

Of Infinite Footfalls.

* * * * * * * * * * *

In non-attachment

We reconnect

With Our Pure Creator Within,

and have no more expectations,

than we did in pre-school finger painting

as the artist we were at four years old

As The Pure Beginner’s Mind.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Doesn’t that sound Beautiful and Free?

That is the Feeling of

The Somewhere To Go

That Furthers One.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Whether it is Success Or Failure

that my Creation finds,

I am Furthered

When I am All In,

When Self Is Lost,

When Creating is All.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I am not there

When I am in my Somewhere To Go

I Am My Somewhere To Go

ImageImage

Glorious Summer Day

I can think my life a tragedy

I can think it anything

Darkness is the old default

But not on this Glorious Summer Day!

The sun, not yet setting, but past peak,

its Westerly light on the Bougainvillea,

The colorful bract, reflecting the Sun Brilliantly!

And a gorgeous bird foraging within,

also shining in the light

makes it impossible to stop this SMILE!

A pair of larger birds dance on the opposite roof

One chases the other on foot

Palm trees green against blue  Summer sky,

And now an early Moon wants to join

I LOVE IT!

A soft breeze, multiple forms of cacti in the garden below,

My whole heart loves desert plants,

A hummingbird flies under me, from my balcony perch.

I usually get to see a cat-sized squirrel

LEAP from the rooftop to the tallest, most glorious Palm in view

Before the day is done.

They cut most of my beautiful Tree with its Orange Blossoms

and so went the hummingbirds, my pleasure at dusk.

But more Orange Blossoms are appearing

It is Returning

And I do see a hummingbird or two

They are Returning,

And I am Returning

To Who I Am And Called To Be

Returning to the place before I lost myself

And so says the Tree and the littlest birds that love its flowers.

We Are Nature All.

I love these moments of Blue Sky,

Summer Days,

Soaring Birds

Soft Breeze,

An urban scene?

If you say so.

I don’t see the telephone poles,

the wires, the helicopters, the world . . .

I only knows they are there

because you talk about them.

(and yes I see the typo 

two lines up and two words in. 

I did not modify it, I cherish it! 

It made me laugh.) 

I see the Earth that lives on,

in all its infinite manifestations

With or without us, in spite of us

The summer breeze nearing dusk is like a soft kiss,

The gentlest feel

Mind stills

words cease

I Am Here

Now

Image

Thoughts On a Dawn Not Wasted

I wish Mom was alive.

I wish Danny (my little brother) was alive.

I wish it was all sunny.

Things were darker than they needed to be.

I wish we were happier with each other, and with Life.

There is an inner Darkness

I feel I may never escape.

Yet I have escaped

In fiery passions, missions, quests,

The Burning Thing Inside.

And when these quests did not turn out as planned

The Darkness returned

And when Darkness returned,

I could not see, how very, very, very much

each one of those consuming quests had given me.

Each was transformative, and changed my life for the better.

I call upon the permanent gifts of each quest every day.

Lasting Treasures were always found, but not the ones I quested for.

Acceptance, Fame and Fortune in the way I wanted eluded capture

Instead I found only what I most needed, and will always draw from.

Only now, in my morning and my mourning, do I understand, even as I write.

My three many-yeared quests are what delivered me from the Darkness.

I have not wholly acknowledged the arrival of the Fourth, which is:

My Quest For a Mind, in Tune continuously

With the Infinite, Truth, Universe, Spirit, God, YourWordHere.

And this Quest too has delivered me from Darkness,

The Darkness that dwells in my bloodline,

That Darkness that has already taken lives too soon.

And in not wholly acknowledging this Fourth Mission,

I have not allowed its gifts to wholly (holy?) Adrenalize me, Empower me, Illumine me,

And Liberate me From the Darkness Within, as did The Previous Three,

When they had Life.

I see Lifelong that there has ever only, and shall ever only be, Two Directions:

I may run from The Darkness

Or I may run Toward The Light,

And these are very, Very, VERY Different Things,

Only one has worked.

Neither therapist, nor Sage could save my Two Lost.

To stagnate, is to allow the Dark Bloodline to overtake and kill.

What helps me run to the Light, is to See The Light

In my Obsessive Whole-Bodied Imagining of its Realization.

May My Fourth Call, enable the Previous Three

May It Not Be Too Late

May It Be my Raison Detre

May it Be an Endless Effortless Constant Wellspring of Life Motivation.

Ink and Tears on Notebook Lines

May My Ride Be Filled With Signs

May These Be The Words Of Change

May My Target Be In Range

Bless My Quest and Bless This Rider

Bless The Songstress, Bless the Writer,

Bless The Seeker, and the Striver,

May This Mission Be My Driver.

Lord help me be Free At Last 

Break My Chains To Poisoned Past!   

And in the Fourth Quest,

The Horse I get back upon is called

Sadhana.

Freudian slip

As I read aloud

I said

Asana, 

(twice.)

The Yoga mat beckons. Image