The Dispassionate Observer

(I had written this before the “Somewhere To Go” entry below. 

I decided not to post it when I found my my motivation. 

But I think I found my reason because I had given up searching for it. 

I accepted the place between places, and observed myself within it. 

So I decided to post this in case someone else is in the place 

between places and happens to stumble upon this remote locale

on the edge of Being, where precious few actual readers exist, 

and lone Zengirl tends bar, awaiting the entrance of a stranger 

who either needs a healing word, or who can give one.) 

* * * * * * * * * * *

AWARENESS. 

The Darkness Within

Subtle, Pervasive

The Elusive Obvious

Watch It!

Awareness with no Judgment

No Attachment

No Good

No Bad

I made a little sign

I see often in my day

“How Am I?”

When I see myself

With Unclouded Eyes,

I ask,

Am I serving my intention

Of who I want to Be,

And what I want to Give?

And when I don’t know who I want to be,

or what I want to give,

In moments I feel I’ve outlived

My Reason, My Story,

And Find I’m Still here,

I Just Observe the Being I am

As I am.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Emptiness is more peaceful than The Storm

I feel Grateful for The Nothingness

* * * * * * * * * * *

I observe remnants of a past me

Running on a Familiar

Which no longer has context

The movie feels over

But the camera’s still rolling, expectantly,

And I don’t know what to gun for anymore.

Aware of me Now

With no Judgment

No Attachment

No Good

No Bad

I see me Doing, Being

And through this Dispassionate Observer Within,

I begin to Know, what Mind can only think.

The Answer that comes by Awareness,

Is the Answer.

The answer that comes by thinking

is another false and fleeting lead

that cannot satisfy,

just Mind’s False Promise of a better way,

In a fictional place called Future.

No mission, No horse, No Destination

Yet I still Observe me Doing and Being.

What is your reason? I ask of She,

Who locks Life outside her door,

Only to examine it within her mind.

I ask the One, the Doer, The Be-Her,

Who Does, and Is, Without Motivation

And She says:

I Do for the sake of Doing. 

I Am for the sake of Being. 

And I ask:

What is your pay off?

What motivates?

And She says:

Doing for Doing. 

Being for Being. 

The Truth of pay-off in Future

Is Wilde’s Two Tragedies:

One is not getting what one wants

The other is getting it.

Either Way You Are Not Fed.

So be fed with what is here.

Do what is to be done.

Be as you are.

Stop pondering life,

or you will never live it.

I see the irony of self

In telling myself to stop pondering,

a helpful conclusion,

unearthed,

only after much pondering.

Were I not acquainted with Non-Dualism,

I’d feel all wisdom is insane or one sided.

Thank you Suzuki.

Thank you All Great Teachers

Who make the road possible.

3533_Lone-Joshua-tree-in-the-desert

Somewhere To Go

If I had succeeded

In the Creative Passions & Pursuits

I’ve poured my heart into

and years into,

I would have continued

Striving, trying

to give something else

Good, Useful, Edifying,

Something worth another’s Time.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The success I sought,

if Attained,

would not have been a finish line.

Why on Earth did I let Failure become one?

* * * * * * * * * * *

Some time ago, I opened a door to I-Ching,

and it opened a door in me.

I was guided to words that became a part of me:

“It furthers one to have somewhere to go.”

The Power and Aliveness of this 5000 year old Truth

revealed a bit more of itself during:

I’m-just-going-to-watch-this-beautiful-summer-sky-and-breathe meditation.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I love looking UP on days like today.

I never get bored.

Sky meditation is a Somewhere-To-Go that Furthers

It awakens The Authentic Happiness,

that isn’t based on something ‘happening.’

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I first read the I Ching wisdom,

I thought the Somewhere To Go

Must be an Impassioned Life-Mission

A Protracted investment of Time and Attention

Today the Sky helped me see a broader interpretation:

* * * * * * * * * * *

Every moment, every action,

Even contemplating a cloud,

Can be a Somewhere To Go that Furthers.

When I am fully invested in the Present

be it a Task, a time of Relaxation, Play, or Creation,

I am in my Sacred Somewhere To Go.

When I’m all in, there is no self

and that is Liberation.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Buddha’s wisdom teaches, “No self, no problem.”

The Somewhere To Go is The Way

To No Self

No Problem.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Even if my Somewhere To Go is Nothingness,

In my Nothingness,

I am in my Somewhere To Go

Out of Self,

Out of Self’s Growing Story,

Out of Self’s need to drag its heavy past

Into every New Fresh experience

*********

So Somewhere To Go offers Liberation from Self.

Liberation from Self offers Liberation

from Attachment to Success or Failure.

Liberation from Attachment to Success or Failure

Liberates the Artist from the Influence,

Of These Two Non-Finish lines

Which consciously or unconsciously affect

The Creativity of all Artists

Not-Free of Attachment.

* * * * * * * * * * *

NOW,

Work may be pursued in the purity

of non-attachment,

In the Earnestness and Openness

Of the Beginner’s Mind.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Creativity may still Stir Us Up,

Drive us Mad,

Thrill us to Unreason!

Clear calm water

May suddenly Storm!

* * * * * * * * * * *

All the more reason to be free

of the unnecessary, non-contributory,

hindering turmoil, in

Egoic Attachment to Success or Failure.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Neither is a destination

Each is only a Step

On an Artist’s Journey.

Of Infinite Footfalls.

* * * * * * * * * * *

In non-attachment

We reconnect

With Our Pure Creator Within,

and have no more expectations,

than we did in pre-school finger painting

as the artist we were at four years old

As The Pure Beginner’s Mind.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Doesn’t that sound Beautiful and Free?

That is the Feeling of

The Somewhere To Go

That Furthers One.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Whether it is Success Or Failure

that my Creation finds,

I am Furthered

When I am All In,

When Self Is Lost,

When Creating is All.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I am not there

When I am in my Somewhere To Go

I Am My Somewhere To Go

ImageImage

Glorious Summer Day

I can think my life a tragedy

I can think it anything

Darkness is the old default

But not on this Glorious Summer Day!

The sun, not yet setting, but past peak,

its Westerly light on the Bougainvillea,

The colorful bract, reflecting the Sun Brilliantly!

And a gorgeous bird foraging within,

also shining in the light

makes it impossible to stop this SMILE!

A pair of larger birds dance on the opposite roof

One chases the other on foot

Palm trees green against blue  Summer sky,

And now an early Moon wants to join

I LOVE IT!

A soft breeze, multiple forms of cacti in the garden below,

My whole heart loves desert plants,

A hummingbird flies under me, from my balcony perch.

I usually get to see a cat-sized squirrel

LEAP from the rooftop to the tallest, most glorious Palm in view

Before the day is done.

They cut most of my beautiful Tree with its Orange Blossoms

and so went the hummingbirds, my pleasure at dusk.

But more Orange Blossoms are appearing

It is Returning

And I do see a hummingbird or two

They are Returning,

And I am Returning

To Who I Am And Called To Be

Returning to the place before I lost myself

And so says the Tree and the littlest birds that love its flowers.

We Are Nature All.

I love these moments of Blue Sky,

Summer Days,

Soaring Birds

Soft Breeze,

An urban scene?

If you say so.

I don’t see the telephone poles,

the wires, the helicopters, the world . . .

I only knows they are there

because you talk about them.

(and yes I see the typo 

two lines up and two words in. 

I did not modify it, I cherish it! 

It made me laugh.) 

I see the Earth that lives on,

in all its infinite manifestations

With or without us, in spite of us

The summer breeze nearing dusk is like a soft kiss,

The gentlest feel

Mind stills

words cease

I Am Here

Now

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