* * * * Words On Sharing * * * *

This morning I learned Surya Kriya

(a GREAT WAY to start the DAY!)

and the Yogi closed with some words on Sharing.

This Elevated me, and I Pray it is Healing.

Sometimes I start to share, and then doubt myself.

I would like to stop doubting, and begin to give freely in this Spirit.

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Sharing your joy is good

It is great virtue.

In fact, all other virtues are by-products of sharing your bliss.

Sharing is the very foundation

The source.

Share your truth

Share your meditation

Share your love.

Share whatsoever inner beauty arises in you

Whatsoever inner glow arises in you.

Share your inner flame

Never be a miser

You will become richer and richer.

And there is no end to that richness.

—-Osho 

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Synchronistic Squirrels, Lovestock, and Bliss.

I like blogging. I don’t know how interesting my explorations are to anyone else, but it is quite a gift to search the soul in writing and be able to declare it to the world, regardless of who may or may not actually read it. I know the Universe has Wi-Fi, and She is glued to every word. That’s enough reason to post!

Sometimes when I write with Universal Guidance in mind, things can happen. A prayer or a wish might get an answer. I believe the same is true for everyone.

In last night’s blog, I asked, what would I be like, if old party girl nature and New Consciousness combined? Today brought an answer to that question.

I woke up, feeling I needed a Sunday. “No work. Just do things you like,” The Voice said.  Its been a while since I’ve allowed that. I walked to the park, and I read Mary Shelley while nestled in the great roots of the best tree there. Earthing: it heals the body, and that’s not just hippie talk.

Sun beams peaked through the leaves on my skin, my bare feet were in the grass, people were happy all around, fit, exercising, dogs playing, kids, and I’m Kindling the Romantic Era, taking a break from Spiritual/Truth/Yoga Literature for the first time in four years. It was great. At a point, I knew it was time to move on. So I got up to take the short stroll back home, for another solitary night, which has become my life since my last break-up. I’ve needed to Cocoon.

But Fate Intervened. As I turn down my street, walking down the sidewalk, a squirrel suddenly comes out from behind the tree I’m right next to, at head level. We are eye to eye, spitting distance apart. I love squirrels. This moment of close communion was special to me. I’ve never been so close. Our stare-down was of considerable duration. He won, but only because . . .

A car turns down my street, slows down, and two guys wave me over and ask, “Hey, are you going to Lovestock?” And I asked, “What’s that?” And they said, oh, its at the Avalon in Hollywood. I said I’d go online and look it up.

So I did, and its a GODSEND! Its HEAVEN ON EARTH! Is an actual place, outside of my head, that is liberal and loving enough for my wildest dreams! I called a cab, and went to Hollywood. I didn’t even change my clothes. I figure if the guys in the car thought I was headed there, I must look the part.

When I arrived I was THRILLED to see it was the diametric opposite of the typical L.A. scener snobbery in clublife.

Outside the Avalon, it was all hippies, a folk music singer in the outdoor sign in area, telling us how to save our drinking water. Lots of face paint, belly dancers, hippies from back in the day, yoga men and women, tribal looks, Burning Man vibe, gay, straight, drag, multiracial, wild, tatts. My cab driver says, “This is like the 1960’s! My Mom dressed like that!”

I am in Heaven. People are happy, and loving, authentic Sadhana practitioners, Consciousness Seekers, Truth Trippers, not a faked vibe to make the scene. This was Authentic.

Inside, there is EVERYTHING. Its the coolest nightclub/dayclub (4pm – 12am) but CONSCIOUS! PRESENT. EVERYONE is THERE! GREAT VIBES! The Beautiful People, the Hey I’m Just Me People, older people, little kids, babies many races, Differently Abled, many Religions, gurus in turbans, people in yoga wear, people dressed as faeries and other fun things!

It was LOVE. People walking with “Free Hugs” signs. I got and gave so many hugs, and I have not been really hugged or even physically touched since my break-up in March. O! Human contact! Muchly needed. But here’s the Truly Beautiful Part:

The event was FREE! No MONEY! No capitalism, no materialism no Ulterior Motive, No Angle. With Free Vegan Food, and GOD, it was GOOD! They had a giant steel or tin Wok, with a big fire, and everyone was hanging out, eating. In the Big Area, they had DJ’s, Live Drummers, Digigeroos, Tibetan Bowls, Gongs, Big Video Screen with Chakra Mandalas, Everyone DANCING LIKE Free Spirited Hippies, GYPSIES. O! YES! YES! PLEASE!

After five minutes inside the place, I told myself, I Never Want To Leave Here. EVER. This was the closest thing to Authentic Human Unity, and Heaven On Earth I’d ever experienced. All As One.

I danced like I’ve never danced, and then the music softens at points, and a healer comes out and guides you to get in touch with your energies, release your pain, connect and embrace your inner child, chakra work, all kind of healing work, everyone doing it all together in the spirit of celebration and dance! Belly Dancers, live musicians, speakers, healers, and the party never stops, the healing within the music.

Upstairs there were Healing Rooms and different healing arts practitioners, and that was the most mystical part of the night. I sat on the floor with another woman, and we meditated together while we were waiting for our respective turns. Everyone was meditating, doing yoga, eating that far out food, which was GOOD, and gave a very healthy natural energy.

There was no meanness. No cruising, no men or women hitting on you like at a nightclub, it was just LOVE. It was PURE. It was INNOCENT. IT was FREE, in every sense of the word. We were all like children.

At the bar, you could order a whole coconut, they it cut open in front of you with a machete and stick a straw in it. They had all sort of healthy drinks. The only commercial thing I saw was Red Bull, but again, I didn’t spent much time at the bar.

People were hugging strangers, saying Namaste, Sat Nam, all my favorite words! There would be pauses in the music, and we’d all do Kundalini Chanting! Sanksrit chants I’m doing at home but now with a huge place full of kindred spirits! Can This Be Real? A world of party people who have awakened? Oh God, Sign Me Up! I’ve been in my shell too long. I didn’t know this existed until today.

The pauses in the music, the collective healing, releasing, daring to Love, O! Its was the most beautiful, transcendent, elevating, healing sensation. A Natural High. Toward the end of the night, the Healer, with Live Tribal Drumming and Digideroo behind him, told us he was going to stop the music, and when he did, he wanted us to mingle, silently, and look closely into the eyes of one another, throughout the room, and stare until you see the Divine spark within the Other, and allow them to do the same with you, and only then move on to another.

This was so amazing. I saw the light in the eyes of so many different kind of humans up close, and the Light was Always The Same! Not a word shared, yet a level of intimacy I haven’t  felt face to face in so very long, and it was again, and again, with so many strangers, and so many different types of people, all as One: Gay, Straight, Black White, Normal, Wild, Guru, Punk Rocker, Men, Women, Undecided, Perfect Muscle Bound Specimens of Humanity, people who may have never exercised a day in their life, Differently Abled People, Exceptionally Abled People (you should have seen the Yogi Hula Hoop Woman with her Chakra Light Hoops, Balancing, Spinning, never missing a beat!)
Senior Citizens, Little kids and babies, skinny people, not so skinny people, people of all kinds with one thing in common: all smiling, with Light in their Eyes. God it was BEAUTIFUL!!!

With the silent eye to eye staring, there was a little nervousness at first, but then you see something in the eyes, and this smile breaks out, even a laugh of joy breaks out with both of you, and a very authentic mutually desired hug follows, not the stiff formality type of hug. The kind of hug you’ve only ever given someone you really love, but by the end of the Night, We Were All Love. Love can be so much BROADER than what we’ve restricted it to. Not sex, nothing like that. Just LOVE.

I’ve had friends for years, that I haven’t had a moment this intimate with, and tonight, I had 20 or 30 moments like this, maybe more. I was too blissful to count. So many hugs, gazing into one another’s eyes until we saw the Divine within. We were all sweating, but nobody cared. It was just Beautiful. Why can’t the whole world be like this?

My one on one with the Reiki Healer was Sacred. When I was finally allowed into the healing room, it was booked, but no pushing or impatience, the whole place was MEDITATIVE LOVE, PEACE AND JOY.  I was meditating with another woman, while we waited for our turn. It was nice to meditate with her. Then other people took our lead and joined us. I was #17 on the list, (which is a number that means big new beginnings for me) and the healer I was waiting for took her time with each healing. So after finally getting into the Healing Room, I was prepared to wait for hours. I was at peace. There was nowhere else on Earth I’d rather be. The Energy in there, the Love, was Amazing.

This healer had a very strong presence. She is very Whole Bodied and Physical with her Reiki. She is fit, long dreads, beautiful skin, and spiritual eyes shining with light. When she finished with her patient, she looked to me, but I told her I was pretty far down on her list. She said, ‘You’re here, now.’

There were a lot of Healers in that room. She was the first one you saw when you walked in. The moment I saw her, I knew she was the one. The moment she saw me, she wanted to jump me ahead in line. It was that kind of place, that kind of energy, those connections we don’t have explanations for yet. Her energy, her work, I still feel it working in me. She’s the real thing.

I felt happy before I came to her, but after this healing, I was in a different place. A good place. Sometimes around lots of people (especially these days without a cocktail) I can get nervous. But that nervousness was entirely gone now, and I flowed better with people; nothing terribly dramatic, people were already kind, just a greater sense of openness and kindness and flow. More smiles.

Then it was back into the main room and the magic already aforementioned, but at this point it felt MORE magic, because her healing delivered me into a new energy, a new Openness, a new Consciousness.

What I liked best was the Unity. All kinds of people, music, everyone as One: children, older hippies who may well have been at the original Woodstock, people in all kinds of bodies, no barriers, all Love.

In the food line, people talking, sharing names: “Isn’t this amazing?” “I’ve never experienced anything like this!” “It gives you hope for the whole world.” Collective meditations and energy sends to Syria, to our leaders, to anywhere in the world that needs healing. We were in the vortex. It was a High Consciousness, and every face reflected happiness, openness, and non-judgment. Every face was Love.

There was a wall, where you could write a wish for the world on a piece of chakra red paper, and put it into a slot. I made three wishes: Unity, The End Of All Prejudice. and The Compassionate Distribution Of Wealth: No one On Earth Without A Home or Going Hungry, Ever Again.

It felt so good to make those wishes, especially the last one. Its the thing that gets my heart the most. Were I to win the Lottery, this is where my money would go.

We chanted, we danced, we sang, we prayed, we healed, we shared a meal, and it was ALL FREE. So much MONEY in this event at the Avalon, ASTONISHING sound and video system, amazing food. Gurus in turbans, Healers giving their gifts away, everyone was a volunteer. They didn’t want anything in return. They just wanted you to be happy. Really. No catch. It really is the most beautiful thing. The world can seem so harsh, so unloving, so mercenary. And that world felt a million miles away and a million years ago, compared to the world in Consciousness on this Night.

There’s more info at lovestockfestival.com

The site doesn’t really capture the experience. The singer with the violin was just amazing, with dance music and tribal drumming driving. Everything from tribal, techno, to real hand drumming, digideroo, Tina Turner, Cream, man, they had everything cool, from the Stone Age, to the 60’s to the Future. I think they even played something from the 1920’s, and it all blended as one, just like the people.

So in my last blog I asked, what would it look like if ZenGirl and PartyGirl became two sides of one coin? And today the Universe sent two messengers in a car, on my very short walk home, to tell me about Lovestock.

And had the special synchronistic staring squirrel (ha!) not delayed me, would I have intersected with those two messengers?

If I had gotten up from my tree at the park one minute sooner or later, would I have missed the most beautiful collective human experience I’ve known?

It wasn’t a just a great night. Its a Life Changer. Knowing there are other Souls who See past this mercenary culture’s lies of division, Greater Than, Less Than, has left me unable to view the world in quite the same way ever again, and I would not be surprised if the same is true for everyone I shared Love and Consciousness with tonight. People were in Bliss, and moved to Tears. I don’t believe any of us will forget this night. I know I won’t.

I Know Now True Unity Exists Because I Have Experienced It. Its not a fantasy, or an unrealistic Ideal. I was There, and I cannot Un-Experience It. I feel the Universe gave me a Guided Experience today that will change my world view for the better, and I am Grateful. I don’t want to be cynical. I want to be Love.

Sometimes when I write with Universal Guidance in mind, things can happen. A prayer or a wish might get an answer. I believe the same is true for everyone.

Try it. What will your messengers bring you?

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Midnight Voyage

(Caution: Reading Such Endless Self Indulgence May Result In Death.)

Midnight Thoughts

Arrive With Messages

Observations

Revelations,

Questions,

Pieces Of My Soul Puzzle.

Soul is Whole, 

It is My Understanding

That Grows Less Fragmented.

My Inner Body is Comforted in Meditation, Mantras, Play, and Love.

My Outer Body, is comforted by Exercise, Yoga, Bathing, Nourishment, and Rest.

My Surrounding Body is Comforted by Security and Order.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Yogi Bhajan says, The Strength That Supports You, Is the Spirit Within You. 

If You Don’t Let The Spirit Play, You Will Not Have The Strength To Win. 

So I can do everything Right, and be Calm,

And this is Good, Yet

Where is my Spirit’s play?!

I feel I am doing Good Things,

But where is my Play today? And Where is my Love?

I don’t feel Serious, in that too grown up way.

I don’t feel depressed, and never really do anymore.

Yet where is the Fun, the Joie D’vivre?!

The Adventure?

The Spark, that Scintillates?

And O! Wherefore art thou, My Raison D’etre? My Long Lost Invigorator!

How ENLIVENING is the Mission!!!

Years since I’ve Known My Purpose, My Reason.

Before these years, my Soul was on Fire!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Today,

I simply Better My Being and Better My Doing.

Only Good Can Come Of this.

Yet For What Purpose?

The Voice That Guides says,

The Purpose is simply to cultivate

Better Being and Better Doing. 

These are gifts.  

* * * * * * * * * * *

Yes they are gifts,

But they don’t Light My Fire.

It is Good, but it doesn’t turn me on.

This does not mean I am not Grateful.

I am Grateful for every moment I am not suffering.

This is a wonderful teaching of The Buddha.

Remembering this, opens Joy a bit more.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Yet I am quite an Alive Fun Person,

When I Know What I Am For.

I miss that person.

She got hurt.

She let it stop her.

She began to descend,

And when she could no longer descend,

She began to Rise UP!

She found Truth, and Yoga, and Meditation, and The Magic of This!

And her Life Reformation Steadily Ascended.

Now, more of a Doer than a Dabbler,

Her Progress Quickens,

And this is all well and good.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Yet what of You, Enthusiasm?

And what of You, Passion?

And what of, Bounding Out of Bed with Zeal each day?

Looking Forward To the Fun, Forwarding Thing?

Am I To Lose These Aspects Forevermore?

* * * * * * * * * * *

I Know I Am Capable

Of Allowing Passion To Possess Me,

And Drive Me, Perhaps Madly,

To The Dream-Most-Wanted.

It is the Truth of Most of My Life. 

* * * * * * * * * * *

But what happens when the Wild Child becomes Sensible?

The Cards point to a Union Of Opposite Energies.

What does that look like?

I know the Truth: Day Needs Night. Right Needs Left. Up Needs Down.

The World of Form Is the Realm of Opposites.

But Once the Wild Child Steps Into The Light,

How to open that door to Shadow Again,

and not be Devoured From Within and left Hollow again?

Yet too, how to Continue To Live in Light Alone,

And not feel the Thrill anymore?

* * * * * * * * * * *

I Create Madly, when I Wholly Create,

and Life Gets A Little Weird.

More than a little.

It doesn’t need to be this way.

Picasso proves it.

But in me, it has never been Contained.

I have never created as Pollock, Shelley, Mozart, or Beethoven,

But I’ve shared the same Lunar lunacy,

Organically,

Wishing it was not so,

Because outside the Creative Process,

Life can be Torn Apart.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Follow the Taurus Sun,

My Guru guides.

I am Trying, K,

Yet I Am Of The Moon,

So May I Try Both?

Quitting the Night, cold turkey,

May Do Me In.

* * * * * * * * * * *

And what would She of the Sun AND the Moon Look Like?

What does She Do?

What Turns Her On?

How does she Travel

in Her Day AND Her Night?

Does she even know who she is these days,

in this life of applying herself to Good alone each day?

Does it matter?

Must there be a Self at all?

Wouldn’t it be easier if Self was lost,

And Life Flowed Through,

Pure, without the Obstruction,

and the Pettiness

and the Ridiculousness of a “me?”

Does the waterdrop in a flowing River,

Need an identity of its own?

Yet the drop is.

And The River is.

Non-Dualism .  .  .

So ‘me’ and ‘not me’,

Co-Pilots.

Got it.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Spiritually I’m at a place where past passions seem pointless,

but am I now just viewing them from the other side of the coin?

Was there merit in the Shadow?

Can I see it from the Light?

In Light Alone, Calm has Increased,

Passion has dwindled.

Am I cool with this?

* * * * * * * * * * *

What has always Moved Me To Persevere

Passionately, Effortlessly, Joyfully, Enthusiastically,

Is the Navigational Star,

The Light I Captain My Ship By,

Illumining My Constant Direction.

O Starlight! Star Bright!

First Star I See Tonight,

I wish I May, I wish I Might

Have the Wish I Wish Tonight . . .

***closing eyes***

May My Navigational Star,

My Once Guide and Companion,

My Once Mover and Motivator,

Come Back To Me

Because I Want To Set Sail Again

I Need The Somewhere-To-Go

And I Need The Light To Voyage By.

With Every Mission,

I’ve always had a Destination in Mind

That Thrilled Me,

More than Anything In The World,

That Thing I Couldn’t NOT Be!

That Thing I Couldn’t NOT Do!

WHAT IS THAT NOW?

Show Me.

As My Soulmate Before Me,

I Now Pray For Passion,

For This has Always Led

To A Fascinating Quest,

With Fantastical Discoveries,

Even though they were never

The Discoveries Quested For.

What is this Mission Now?

The Day Has Been So Very Long.

Let’s Sail At Night,

Swim To The Moon,

Have One More,

Dark, Wild, Ride!

For I am Too Young At Heart

To Grow Old.

But I Am Earnest and Willing

To Grow Wise.

And the Voice-That-Guides Interjects:

Has it  occurred to you that now may not be the time to Voyage?

That now is the time for you to Face Your Loss, 

Accept It, Deal With it, Embrace Your Pain, And Stop Running From It?

The Mission Will Come When The Mission Comes, 

When You Build Strength and Fully Restore.

And When It Comes It Will Be For One Purpose: 

To Run Toward Your Light, Not From your Life.

You’ve had CoLOSSal Life Change,

And You Need To Face It, Accept It, Own It, Heal up, And Rise Above It.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Aye, I Hear You Voice-That-Guides-Who-Speaks-In-IItalics . . . .

So no cool boat trip?

***********(heavy sigh)***********

Not what I wanted to hear, though I thank You For Your Wisdom.

It is always Right, Always Best, And Saves Me Time And Again.

Yet Until Such Time as I May Voyage . . . .

Might I Dream Untimely Needs?

The Loss Is Great, and My Heart Bleeds

It Gives me Power To Recall

That Time In Life When Gain Was All

Rising Up, So Fast And Strong

A Rocketship Inside A Song,

Inside A Word, A Higher Me

Who Shattered Past, And I Broke Free

Sailing By My Starlight Guide

The Lower Self Completely Died

And When I Reached The Other Shore

In Every Way I Became More

For all those Years Lost In The Dark

Once Conquered, Strengthen Flesh and Heart!

Let This Be My Truth Again

That I May Voyage And I’ll Win

Back The Life That I Once Won

I’ll Sail By Moon, I’ll Sail By Sun

With Guiding Star as My True Friend,

I’ll Never Lose Myself Again.

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