The Courage To Dream Again

(adapted from a letter to a friend)

Return, Fear, and The Nature of True Dreams.

* * * * *

1. RETURN: Return to whatever dream, if it happened, would fill you up, and make you happy. But really imagine it happening. Is it the work that makes you happy in and of itself, or is it the recognition, the pay-off? What work makes you happy, all by itself? What feels good? If we don’t know what that is, that’s ok. At least we’re opening the door of wonder, to find out.

2. FEAR: We’re afraid to try again because we’re looking at it wrong. Let’s say you starred in your own film, won an Oscar, and I won a Pulitzer for my stuff. Now what? Pressure’s on. Are you a one hit wonder? Am I? There are expectations now. Let’s say we get a few successes, get used to that, but what then? Will it be a lifelong success, or will we fall out of fashion? Become has-beens? Is that less terrifying than being a never-was?

You and I are wrong to think our dreams are broken because our last efforts didn’t turn out the way we’d hoped. There is no finish line, no Destination except this moment; no ending point, except our last breath. Every time we try and hope for something, its always going to be the same risk. Doesn’t matter if the last thing failed or succeeded. The next thing will be just as risky. The same is true for everyone who tries for a dream, at any time at any age.

3. THE NATURE OF TRUE DREAMS: If our dreams are age restrictive, they’re not true dreams. You wanted to be an A-list actor before you were 30, and I wanted my novel to be a best-seller by that time. The reason these dreams weren’t real, is they had a finishline, a delusion disguised as hope that said, “When I hit THIS I’ve made it!

But like the #2 Fear paragraph says, there is no “made it!” No finishline that makes everything great, forever. Success can even increase pressure and fear. So if we still want those same things, if those really are our dreams, we need to change them up in our minds to be True Dreams. A true actor’s dream might be: I’m going to give my all to be the best actor I can be; I will devote the rest of my life to improving my craft to give all that I can.

Who can take that dream away? Who can stop us from doing that at any age? That is a dream independent of circumstance and industry, reliant only upon our Devotion. That is a lifelong mission statement. With that lifelong mission statement, whether failure or success comes, it won’t derail us.

Both success and failure are great at derailing dreamers. Look how many die at the top. Even if success lasted the rest of your life or mine, the fulfillment it brought would leave, unless the work is fulfilling, in and of itself, which takes us back to paragraph #1 RETURN.

That’s why we need to define that True dream, the work that is fulfilling all by itself, and that lifelong mission statement, that is independent of success and failure.

Success and Failure are ripples on a pond. But the True Dream, the Lifelong Mission Statement, is the Pond. We need the pond, not the ripples that come and go.

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The Drop Sixty

The Drop 60

I recently read:

“Concentration is Strength,

Diffusion is weakness.”

My issue is

*

I got a head full of ideas

That are drivin’ me insane”

–Bob Dylan

*

Today when hyper-creativity took me,

I dove onto the mat

like it was a life raft,

even though it was not yoga time

with a quick intention:

“5 Asanas.”

12 Breaths Each.

Then,

I got up.

Went out the door

ran my errands,

Out in the city

Relaxed.

No rush of ideas

that arrive

when  I can’t do anything about them.

Mind clear.

everything was cool.

in the moment.

 felt more alive.

*

I want to make my imagination

useful,

Creative,

not let it be distracting.

*

The Drop 60 worked today.

Just a permission slip

to check in and ground myself

when the head takes off on its own trip.

A new way to choose

when to let imagination flow

and when to say no.

*

I don’t eat all my food for the day at once.

I don’t drink all my water for the day at once.

Why do all my yoga at once?

*

little yogas

are

intermittent bites of Calm

not one 16 course meal

It helps me control my mind

make it a creative I power I use,

Not a power that uses me,

unless I give it permission

when I’m ready to download

from wherever it is

ideas come from.

I

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I AM CROTO-MEAT!

I AM CROTOMEAT

* * *

An acronym

Mnemonic

connecting

Mind

to

Mantra

For

Well Being

&

Well Doing.

*

I am CROTOMEAT

is 

an otherworldly acronym for:

I Am

Calm

Relaxed

On

Top

Of

My

Emotions

And

Thoughts

Breathing this mantra

throughout the day

makes that happen.

The strange name

makes it memorable.

* * * * * 

U.D.I.B.A. 

is a ch’i healing practice,

much like

qi gong,

reiki,

acupuncture

meditation,

or yoga,

but it is practiced

on one’s self in stillness.

Udiba is:

Unrushed

Deliberate

Inner 

Body 

Awareness. 

*

In a state of frenzy

In a state of rushing,

we lose strength and become divided within,

and divided we fall.

The mind wants to race ahead of the body.

*

We also become divided

and weaken ourselves

when we are in a state of uncertainty.

*

U.D.I.B.A.

reverses this

&

makes the body,

mind

and Spirit

One.

*

This State of Presence

Instantly

Creates

A

Healing

Vibration

In

The

Body.

*

Breathe in deeply:

Unrushed Deliberate Inner Body Awareness.

As you do it

make the breath

Unrushed and Deliberate.

When the Breath has slowly filled the body entirely

Breathe out

as if in a slow sigh

through the nose

silently chanting again:

Unrushed Deliberate Inner Body Awareness

*

As this Unrushed Deliberate Breathing Continues

and Relaxation deepens

Begin to Sense the Inner Body

the energy/innergy

inside your body

inside your bones

Ch’i

*

Start with the hands or feet

Feel if you can sense them

Then try to sense the energy inside of them

*

If it doesn’t happen right away,

give it time.

It is a practice,

and inner body awareness develops

through the practice.

*

When Whole Inner Body Awareness is Achieved

You can Breathe in,

And feel the energy

come in through the soles of your feet

Rising up through your body

To the top of your head

And Return.

It brings a sense of joy

and well being.

*

If you have an issue

with a certain part of the body

you can focus the ch’i

by sensing the inner body energy

in that part of the body

that wants healing.

*

In time,

even in active living,

awareness of the inner body

becomes more of a constant

with the practice of UDIBA.

*

Unrushed and Deliberate living

gives  a strength.

Health of Body and Mind is Improved.

* * * * *

Croto-Meat and Udiba

are traveling companions

that are changing my life

for the better.

They are not new concepts

just  a new way

to remember an ancient wisdom.

*

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Suzuki and The Recipe

Many words on Presence, Mindfulness.

A Feeling Can Teach.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Calm Still small Slow

after Yoga.

Hummingbirds play and evoke smiles.

Peace.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Then,

an Idea!

I could do THIS!

* * * * * * * * * * *

And my mind leaves

the lovely moment

and does not plan calmly.

It is always in a hurry.

* * * * * * * * * * *

If I read these words I write

If they were from another mind

I would recognize this.

But would I truly learn?

Would I become aware?

Would I change?

* * * * * * * * * * *

A Feeling can Teach.

When I felt the change,

upon arrival of inspiration,

from peace

to Exhilaration! 

I felt in my heart, NO.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I am on my balcony.

Breathing.

Loving My Hummingbirds.

Smiling because.

And inspired thought

must wait its turn.

Its arrival has shifted the energy.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Peace is always here

if i allow it.

Even in a Storm

Peace is within reach.

An inspired thought

does not need a fast energy.

That happens when I think

it is ‘my‘ inspired thought.

(ha!)

I am the little ‘i’.

God, the Great I.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Suzuki says,

“If we are aware that what we do,

what we create, 

is really the gift of the big ‘I,’

we will not be attached to it, 

and we will not create problems 

for ourselves and others.” 

* * * * * * * * * * *

Thank you, great teacher.

Your words live within. 

* * * * * * * * * * *

But it was a feeling that made me See.

Truth is a recipe book.

It means nothing

until we cook.

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Calm.

Today I recognized

one of the things

that keeps me from Calm,

is an inner voice saying,

“You can’t be calm!

You’ve got to do this,

and what about that?

The list is endless, according to this little voice,

Endless reasons, endless tasks

And Calm, and the Joy born of Calm

Can only be permitted at the finish line

Where all tasks and reasons for no-calm are at last silenced.

But there is no finish line.

So in response to you, little voice

ever telling me my calm happy place

can only exist upon achieving

every single thing there is to do

I say this:

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